I have designed the most perfect “Living in New Zealand but currently unemployed” morning constitutional: Arise from one’s slumbering, gently awake the offspring, and prepare her breakfast while she showers. Talk on Skype to remote family while offspring carries on showering, and catch up on events. chase her out of the shower. Next drive Jules to school and return home. Take a brisk, 45-minute walk along the beach-front and back home. All the time listening to Peter Carey’s Olivier and Parrott in America which is cranked up quite loud to counteract the seagulls surfing overhead and the fresh breeze keeping the seagulls suspended like errant plastic bags. The audiobook was previously listened to on the Ben Schoeman highway in grid-locked traffic. On returning home execute some basic home fitness exercises before showering and consuming a bowl of muesli with a fresh banana cut into it.
Now who would want to change anything in this scenario? I feel so righteous and healthy I think they should carve a niche for me in heaven already. In the shorter term I expect to have lost 10 Kgs by 15:30 this afternoon. If not, I’m going to go to MacDonalds to sulk!